Good manners and etiquette - The best gift for a child

It is the nature of a decent person that he/she is anxious to make progress in life.  He tries to perform good deeds and to stay away from sin.  He strives to keep himself steadfast on the right path.  For a believer, only this much is not enough.  A believer should also worry about keeping his/her relatives and children on the right path.  He should exhort them to perform good deeds and strive to ensure that they stay away from evil.  For this, proper upbringing of children is necessary.  For this reason, Islam gives great importance to proper upbringing of children.  Allah Most High says in the Holy Quran:

 

O believers! Safeguard yourselves and your families against a Fire whose fuel is men and stones. Appointed over it are strong and stern angels who do not disobey Allah in what He commands them. And they accomplish what they are ordered.  Surah Tahreem (66:6)

 

In this verse, the believers have been ordered to save themselves and their relatives from the fire of hell.  The world “Ahleekum” includes relatives, wife and children.  Children are the primary intent here.  The first phase of a human’s life is childhood.  Childhood is like tender green shoots.  However they are taken care of, in whatever way they are molded, the tree will grow in that very manner.  For this reason, Islam gives primary importance to proper upbringing of children and has given special guidelines for this.

Good manners and etiquette – The best gift for a child

 

Every father wants to give his child the best possible gift.  He wants to make his child happy by giving him the best of all things.  For this, a father gives his child valuable, expensive things to his child.  All those gifts are things which are helpful in, at most, one phase of life.  After a period of time, the gifts given by the father are not useful anymore.  However, there is one gift that is so good that there is no gift better than that.  This gift is the instruction in good manners and etiquette, taking good care of the child and proper upbringing of the child.  This is the gift that a child can use as provision for his/her whole life.

 

        This instruction in good manners will always be shining through in the day-to-day life of the child and will always be expressed through the child’s character.  A good habit once taught by a father to his child slowly becomes ingrained in the child as he/she repeatedly performs that good deed and finally becomes second nature to the child.

 

What else can be a better gift than something which can be used to good effect for the entire life!  There can be no other gift better than something which can be used for the entire life.  Other gifts can be used in this material world only for a time, but proper upbringing of a child is that priceless gift that not only is it beneficial in this world but its effects will be seen in the hereafter as well.  The parents are given reward on this and the child gets the reward of performing good deeds.

 

        For this reason, the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) has ordered time and again us to teach proper etiquette to our the children.  There is a Hadith:

 

Translation: You make your children praiseworthy and raise them well.  (Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith No. 3802)

 

Hadhrat ‘Ali (May Allah be well pleased with him) says:

 

Translation: Instruct the members of the household in good things and teach manners and etiquette to them.  (Jame’ Ul Ahadeeth, Hadith No. 33822)

 

We have seen how proper upbringing of children is given prime importance in Islam.  Now let’s see some basic principles of raising children.