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f:902 -    Breaking off relations with parents
Country : Nizamabad, India,
Name : Syed Hafeezur Rahman
Question:     A certain guy has broken off relations with his parents for the past nearly 1 year.  He does not fulfill any of their rights.  In fact, he does not even ask about them.  Please tell something about treating one?s parents nicely.
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Answer:     Allah has granted the parents a very lofty status and has ordered one and all to treat parents nicely.  Allah has described their rights along with His own rights and has declared their disobedience as a major sin.  There is a Hadith in Sahih Bukhari:

Translation: It has been narrated on the authority of Hadhrat Abu Bakrah (May Allah be well pleased with him) that the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  Shall I tell you which is the greatest sin?  We said:  Why not o Prophet of Allah (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam)!  Associating someone/something with Allah and disobeying one’s parents.  (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 2511)

Disobeying parents is a very grave sin.  The punishment for this is given in this world as well.  There is a Hadith in Mishkaat Ul Masabeeh, Pg. No. 421:

Translation: It is narrated on the authority of Hadhrat Abu Bakrah (May Allah be well pleased with him) that Allah may forgive whatever sin He wishes to, except disobedience of parents.  Allah punishes that person before death in this life itself.

In Islam, breaking off relation with any Muslim for more than 3 days is prohibited.  That someone breaks off relations with one’s parents for a period of 1 year is all the more wretched.  There is a Hadith in Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 2, Pg. No. 897:

Translation: It is narrated on the authority of Hadhrat Abu Ayyub Ansari (May Allah be well pleased with him) that the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  It is not permissible for any person to break off relations with a fellow Muslim for more than 3 days that they come face to face with each other and they turn their faces away from each other.  The better of the 2 is the one who first greets the other with Salaam.

Even looking at the parents with love is a source of blessings and it gains one the reward of an accepted Haj.  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  There is no obedient son who looks at his parents with kindness but that Allah grants him the reward of an accepted Haj in lieu of every glance.  The Companions asked:  If he does so 100 times every day?  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  Allah is great and sublime.  (Mishkaat Ul Masabeeh, Pg. No. 421)

The parents have done so many favors to the children that even if the children spend everything that they have, it cannot be a return for whatever the parents have done.  Thus, the children should treat the parents as nicely as possible.  They should ask for forgiveness with utmost humility for the lapses that may have happened in doing so and should also ask the parents to forgive them.  The parents are the first ones who deserve our kind treatment.  There is a Hadith in Mishkaat Ul Masabeeh, Pg. No. 418:

Translation: It is narrated on the authority of Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (May Allah be well pleased with him) that a person asked the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam): Who is most worthy of my kind treatment?  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  Your mother.  He asked:  Then whom?  He was told:  Your mother.  He asked:  Then whom?  He was told:  Your mother.  He asked yet again:  Then whom.  He was told:  Your father.


And Allah The Most Merciful and The Most Beneficent knows best.

Mufti Hafidh Syed Ziauddin Naqshbandi Qadri

[Professor, Islamic Law, Jamia Nizamia,
Founder-Director, Abul Hasanaat Islamic Research Center]
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