Some other important guidelines in upbringing the children

 

Some other important guidelines in upbringing the children

 

Parents should keep an eye on children.  Children are not with adults for the entire 24 hours of the day.  They spend time with their friends as well.  They also step out of the house, go to markets, etc.  It is possible that they might pick up some bad habits from somewhere or they might fall into the company of someone with bad character.  This will affect their character. Thus, the activities of children should be monitored all the time. What do they do, where they go, whom they meet with and what kind of friends do they have, etc.

 

For those who are raising children, it is highly essential that they understand the psychology of children.  If this is not kept in mind, then all efforts will be rendered futile.

 

If a child has fallen prey to any blameworthy trait and one wants to remove it all at once, it will cause the child to rebel.  If you bend anything forcefully, it will definitely break.  Under these circumstances, the principle of progression should be kept in mind.  Gradually, dislike should be created against that blameworthy trait and the abilities of the child should be gradually taken to their peak.  There is a Hadith in Sahih Bukhari:

 

Translation: Rabbani is the one who instructs in small things before the more important ones.  (Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 1, Pg. No. 12)

 

While instructing children, scolding and expressing one’s anger at them should be minimized as much as possible.  Scolding should be only in extreme cases.  Otherwise, under normal circumstances it is always better to avoid scolding.  Habitual expressing of anger at children creates resentment in children and ultimately they rebel against all authority.

 

We get these guidelines of raising children from the blessed life of the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam).  Hadhrat Anas (May Allah be well pleased with him) who remained with the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) for 10 years says that in al this time the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) never even scolded him.  As mentioned in this Hadith of Jame’ Tirmidhi:

 

Translation: Hadhrat Anas (May Allah be well pleased with him) says:  I served the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) for 10 years and He never even said “Uff” to me.  Whatever I did, He never told me why I did such a thing and whenever I failed to do anything, He never told me why I didn’t do such a thing.  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) has the best manners and etiquette among all people.  (Jame’ Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 2147)